better than.

All you want is
What you can't have
And if ya' just look around, man
You'll see you got magic

Isn't that the honest-to-goodness truth? John Butler has got enlightenment on his hands by way of his beautiful Maton guitar. He is clearly singing from the soul of the Earth and his message is intended for the starved bohemians like K. and myself.

So just sit back and relax
Enjoy it while you still have it
Don't look back on life, man
And only see tragedy 'cause

It's safe to fly your freak flag, according to JBT; as long as you accept it and your situation. Often times we can yearn for more because we forget what we have.

You can be better than that
Let it get the better of you
What could be better than that?
Life's not about what's better than

I was chatting it up with my cousin Ro last night and making my routine sound like the most ridiculous thing to be doing. Honestly, I wouldn't be doing anything else. I am blessed I have my family to fall back on and maybe it's a crutch thing, or maybe it's guilt and redemption for being the most difficult child--ever. For being spiteful and running away often, for seeking trouble, chasing demons, and teetering that fine line of breaking my mother's heart just for the thrill. I am happy to help her in these trying days, go house hunting with them in Greenville, and prove to her that I will take care of our family in the future. Even though I make fun of myself and I am probably the busiest unemployed person you have ever met, I am on the plus side of content. I couldn't ask for anything more, and what's better is that I no longer need validation from my peers to land the job and join the young professionals. I'm over it.

All the time while ya' lookin' away
There are things you can do, man
There's things you can say
Undo the, the ones you regret
When you're spending today
Get your gaze out tomorrow
And come what may, because

In terms of a charming someone, and all, I mean I am the biggest nut. I can take the smallest things so personally and then be set over the moon when things go well. I am not talking about the grand gesture, but of a great conversation and witty banter and is nothing shy of shooting the biggest grin on my insides. Come what may. I make it a bumpy ride, but I'll make it in the end. I just have such strong love and strong hate, but like Mr. Darcy,"Maybe it's that I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or their offenses against me. My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever." I have little interest in finding middle ground and fortunately for him, he has learned to tread lightly on my good opinion. Woe is me, indeed.

Oh, I know, sometimes
Things can get hard
But you should know, by now
They come and they go so fast
Oh, I do, why
Look to the other side 'cause I know
The grass is greener,
But just as hard to grow

This is the best instrumental song in the world. It calms me down when I rage, clears my mind when it's cloudy, inspires me when I am uninspired, and finds me when I am lost. It's powerful. I put it on repeat just to get things done. Enjoy!